.Our new beginnning.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Man... i juz got myself into hot soup. Its either im that blur, or unlucky that no one reminded me, or im not attentive during lessons, or im forgetful, or perhaps its juz fated... I din turn up for CMA test 2... Can ya believe it? Never in my 19 yrs of life have i forgotten to sit for a test. I was really stunned and surprised when elyn told me over the phone... At that moment, i was gonna say, u muz be kidding me rite... lol Totally insane... I really cant believe wad i hear. It was on Monday. I got to know about the test at abt 11 plus, which is abt 6 hours after the starting time of the test. -__-' I thought i could save myself by sitting for the re test but i was totally wrong. I was told by my cma tutor that the sch of BA is very strict in this kind of situation. She said that students who didnt sit for the test must have a letter or medical certificate to prove their absence for the test if not, they are not eligible to sit for the re test. My heart really dropped when i heard that. I knew i was in for a big trouble. Well, guess i have no choice but to take a big fat 0 for the paper which has a weigtage of 20%. Hence, i approached my tutor again to ask her help me calculate the score i need to get for my final paper in order to just pass the whole module. Its a 64. Man!!! To me, this score may be within my ability to achieve it, but i need to work quite hard. I dun wish to have an xtra module to clear as 2 is more than enough. Guess i gotta really start working hard. Just nice, i have quit the sch training so there will be more time for me to prepare for this paper. I really hope i wont neglect the other modules... Well, i just have to take this as part of a challenge in my life, which i created unnecessaryly with my own negligence. This really woke me up from weeks of laziness and being very slack.

Shall move on to wad happen during this week.
Monday, i had a one on one presentation for IBS, which is called the sales solution. It was quite successful. Burned midnight oil the night before to prepare it. Its about recommending the right product to a client which is gonna be my tutor, based on the requirements i gathered from her during the data gathering call. At the end, my tutor said that i meet all the requirements and the stuffs that i need to show so i got an A. She also reviewed the grades for other activity assignments to me. I only had 1 B. How i wish these grades were the grades of all my modules. Having only B for 1 module, with the rest being As. Isnt that great? Lol, im dreaming...

Todae i reached school at 905 am to attend a 9 am lesson. When i reached the door of my class, there wasnt anyone in there. I then saw a yellow notice which states, " KMS workshop rescheduled to next week, 21 july. I was -_-''', but cannot blame anyone. I didnt attend ytd's lecture, so i guessed my tutor might have said it during the lecture. Just so unlucky that sam forgotten to remind me, but i wont blame him... Well at least i have something to during the 2 hours. I went to level 5 helpdesk to get my notebook installed with MS SQL server 2005. It was damn long... think it took me 1 hr or more to finish installation the software... Den i went to canteen 2 to wait for wai ming, but i caught xiu han meeting val and having lunch together without informing me. lol... Well, i ended up lunching with both of them instead of ming as he had a sudden change of timing. But i met up with ming after my last lesson which ended at 115 instead of 2pm. On our way to the shell bus stop, i met b2 coincidentally. She laughed at my swollen and wounded shin which left me feeling lost and not knowing how to react... haha very bad lei b2... you should ask b1 if he is feeling better... lol Ha ha a funny girl... Took a nap when i reached home. I got up at 9plus. These few days really quite slpy and tired so no choice... lol

Yawnz... think i shall end here.... shall often update more posts... tc everyone...

3:04 AM

Friday, July 14, 2006

Im really feeling very lost in my life, as though, i have no more important duties to do in life. Last time, when my passion for basketball is still strong, i will live each day with the dream of playing well and to improve. When I like a girl, i will think of ways to win her heart. When i am schooling, i will try to learn and absorb as much as possible. When im working, i will try to do my tasks well so as not to be scolded by my supervisor. When friends are having problems, i will wanna lend them my listening ears. Now, everything is so different. I am juz 19 this year and already going thru this kind of weird thoughts. Wads really strong with me? Nothing is goin smoothly for me. Man, this is really one of the most difficult stage of my life to go through. The vision of my future seems blur. I realli dun wanna live each day very meaninglessly. On the other hand, i have no mood for everything. Man! Everyday feeling very restless. I cant let this go on. But it seems that it isnt within my ability to change things. I have no strength to carry on. haIz... What made me fell and hit the ground so heart that i seem to lost all my senses...

11:35 PM

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Thailand Trip
Went to TAI GUO for a holiday between 11 June - 14 June. It was my the fast time our family actually sit a plane and fly to a country further than malaysia. Never in my 19 yrs of life have i boarded a plane before until this holiday. Well the experience was quite exciting at first. lol coz SUA KU ma. But slowly boring le. When we reached there, it was hot and humid like what singapore is now. Although the hotel was only 3 star, but its comfortable for me to fall asleep fast and soundly. We decided to shop for the first day. We went to MBK, a famous shopping centre, which is quite similar to our local queensway shopping centre but it is 4 or 5 times bigger. There are many shops in there, selling a wide range of goods. Thailand's ktv is slightly different from Singapore. The ktv rooms are actually telephone booth like. Perhaps in the future if i have earn enough money, i wanna invest a small business in ktv. lol. The 2nd day, we intend to visit the musuem but it wasnt open to the public. A guy there said that its the king's dunno how many years of throne, he invited many kings and princes from other countries for the celebration. So we got no choice but to visit the 3 different buddhas under the hot sun. They are the standing, sitting and slping buddhas. We then immediately headed to the IT centre of bangkok, which is similar to our local Sim Lim Square. We bought dvds, couple of games and a recording software for myself. haha. We then went to another plaza where i bought a pair of jeans for 32 sg bucks i think. The shop assistants are females and they are pretty looking who are around my age or slightly younger than me. After that, we went back to our hotel for some rest and decided to meet at 7 for a visit to the nigh bazaar market. That is the ideal place i am expecting to visit in thailand. It is juz like our bugis street, selling clothes, accessories and bags. The price can be bargained too. I bought 2 ts, a necklace and a pair of thai boxer shorts. We had difiiculty goin back as the roads and expressways are blocked. The reason being is that some VIPs will be using that route. Tats all abt our holiday at thailand.

Was watching the finals of the world cup between italy and france while blogging this post. Wad made the game more interesting and exciting was that i had bet on this game. I bought total goals 2, draw at half and italy and italy as the winner. Well i only won the first bet which is 2 goals. I lost 5 bucks but its better than losing 20 bucks. lol Anyway my motive of betting is juz to excite myself. lol yea and not hoping to earn money out of it. lol Think im gonna stop here. Tke care.

11:42 AM

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Well, many wonderful, fun, happy, interesting and happening events took place during my absence here but i shall share with u guys some other days. Haven been feeling positive recently. I think i have been deceiving myself all these years. Should have stop it right after my Os. Should juz play it as a leisure. Shouldnt have set high goals and hoping one day that i can attain them. Should have followed what Carmen said, " basketball is not for short ppl like us to play". Now, i have made my life miserable. One should be enjoying when he is doing smth he loves to do. But im different. I am not enjoying while im doin smth i love to do, instead im stress about it. This thing had also brought disappointment, low self esteem, unhappiness, etc, to me. Now, my love for it has started to decrease. I have finally come up with a decision after so long, which is to give up what i love to do. LAN QIU. Not as in to completely stop playing but juz decided i shouldnt continue to be a clown or be humiliated to carry on trying to play competitively. All this while, i know that i do not foot the bill. I think i shouldnt waste more time in hopin to be selected to play for the sch anymore. I have been quite lucky for my first 2 years. In order words, i already ZHUAN dao le. Anyway i dun even think i stand any chances to be in the final 12 man squad. Although you guys might say, " u never try how u noe???" Well some things can just base on feelings ba. Or perhaps if i dun try, i will not experience any disappointment. Im also quite tired of playing competitive bball all these years. No results to show. I have been quite ugly in front of those ppl who noe me, as in being a fool of myself. I kind of have enough of these bad experiences. I juz wanna thank those who had supported, motivated me, giving me chances, having confidence in me (ShiFu), helping and imparting skills and knowledge of the game all these years. Super appreciate it. You guys are the best!

But I cant really give up totally, as i still gotta try to get into yew tee csc. At least i cannot let my coach down. I dun wan him to noe that im so useless. I hope he will be proud of me some day althoug chances are slim. It was him who brought me to the competitive scene of the game. Without him bringing me into eng tat. I wouldnt be playing outside tournaments like youth cup, skudai, yew cheow tong cup, taman jurong cup and hougang cup. He will always be my only coach and most respectable personel on the court. So no matter what, i still gotta persevere and train with full determination.

Now that i have come up with this decision. My life seems very dull. I do not really have any targets or goals. It really seems meaningless. Simply live for the sake of living. haix... slowly everyone will call me alvin instead of xiao si....

1:13 AM